well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
