Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm at about main and main street
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
