I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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