Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
