): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't think brook has ever known best
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
