then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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