Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
