i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
