I'm jealous of your bromance
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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