do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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