It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize