Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
