Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I wish you could order shots online.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
