This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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