I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
