Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
