He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I will pee on everything he values.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
