White coat. Heels.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
