I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
