I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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