Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
