He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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