True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
