the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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