Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
