is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
