He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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