so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I will be naked everywhere
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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