it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
