I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
