you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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