You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Randomize
