You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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