She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
