Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
