Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
