I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
