I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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