He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
