you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
