Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
