So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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