god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I want to fling myself into the sun
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
