:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
