Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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