Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I AM VODKA MAN
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
