none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
