What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
