how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
