Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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